IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH WITH OUR SONGS ARCHIVE OF 200,000 LYRICS
Lewis Carrol "Alice's
Adventure in Wonderland"
A
Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
THEY were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on
the bank -- the birds with draggled feathers, the animals
with their fur clinging close to them and all dripping wet,
cross, and uncomfortable.
The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it
seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking
familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life.
Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at
last turned sulky, and would only say, `I'm older than you,
and must know better.' And this Alice would not allow,
without knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively
refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some
authority among them, called out `Sit down, all of you, and
listen to me! I'll soon make you dry enough!' They all sat
down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle.
Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure
she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air. `Are you all
ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round,
if you please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was
favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English,
who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to
usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria --"'
`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
politely. `Did you speak?'
`Not I!' said the Lory, hastily.
`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `I proceed. "Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for
him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of
Canterbury, found it advisable --"
`Found what?' said the Duck.
`Found it,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you
know what "it" means.'
`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,'
said the Duck: `it's generally a frog, or a worm. The
question is, what did the archbishop find?'
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went
on, `"-- found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to
meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at
first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans --" How
are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to
Alice as it spoke.
`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it
doesn't seem to dry me at all.'
`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet,
`I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption
of more energetic remedies --'
`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning
of half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe
you do either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a
smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended
tone, `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a
Caucus-race.'
`What is a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she much
wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought
that somebody ought to speak, and no one else seemed
inclined to say anything.
`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do
it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself some
winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the
exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the
party were placed along the course, here and there. There
was no `One, two, three, and away!' but they began running
when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it
was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when
they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry
again, the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is over!' and
they all crowded round it, panting, and asking `But who has
won?'
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal
of thought, and it stood for a long time with one finger
pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually
see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest
waited in silence. At last the Dodo said `Everybody has won,
and all must have prizes.'
`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
asked.
`Why, she, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with
one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
calling out, in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her
hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily
the salt-water had not got into it), and handed them round
as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece, all round.
`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the
Mouse.
`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have
you got in your pocket?' it went on, turning to Alice.
`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your
acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when it had
finished this short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all
looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she
could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and
took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some
noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they
could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to
be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and
they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell
them something more.
`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said
Alice, `and why it is you hate -- C and D,' she added in a
whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.
`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
Alice, and sighing.
`It is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down
with wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?'
And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was
speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like
this:
"Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, `Let us
both go to law: I will prose- cute you.Come, I'll take no
denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I've
nothingto do.'
Said the mouse to the cur, `Such a trial, dear Sir, With no
jury or judge, would be wasting our breath.'`I'll be judge,
I'll be jury,' Said cun-ning old Fury:
`I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death:"
`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice, severely.
`What are you thinking of?'
`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to
the fifth bend, I think?'
`I had not!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful,
and looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo
it!'
`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so
easily offended, you know!'
The Mouse only growled in reply.
`Please come back, and finish your story!' Alice called
after it. And the others all joined in chorus `Yes, please
do!' But the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and
walked a little quicker.
`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as
it was quite out of sight. And an old Crab took the
opportunity of saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this
be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!' `Hold your
tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly.
`You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'
`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'
`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
said the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk
about her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital
one for catching mice, you ca'n't think! And oh, I wish you
could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird
as soon as look at it!'
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking `I really must
be getting home: the night- air doesn't suit my throat!' And
a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children,
`Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!'
On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon
left alone.
`I wish I hadn't mentïoned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and
I'm sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah!
I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor
Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and
low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a
little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she
looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed
his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
